For a limited time, we're bringing you the best thing since sliced bread. This is the cat's meow, the bee's knees, the duck's nuts, a doozy of a deal, and everything in between. You know how they say "if it's too good to be true then it's probably not true." Well, that statement is invalid, because this shit right here is good (like really good) and this shit right here is as true as Santa Claus still is to me.
Christmas is only *insert a number of days until Christmas* days around the corner, dammit, and that's also why we're offering you this sweet sweet deal.